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The Madness of Self-Doubt: A Guest Blog Post by Mariah Wilson

Amber Skye Forbes

tumblr_mmvohvsRXb1rnvzfwo1_500This afternoon will be a blog post by Mariah Wilson on facing self-doubt as a writer. You can find her blog here.


If you’re a writer then you know what the biggest obstacle to being a writer is. It’s not writer’s block, it’s not the critics, it’s not even the people who tell you that your dream isn’t worth dreaming. It’s the little voice inside your head that comes alive to fan all of your insecurities. It’s the little voice known as self-doubt.

Self doubt kills careers before they start. Self doubt stops novels and poems halfway through and they sit in the pile labeled “I’m not good enough” and as that pile grows, so does self doubt. See, he’s a greedy little voice and he likes to feed himself, and he’ll devour you if you’re not careful. Here’s what I do when my own self doubt gets out…

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Filed under Blog post, Inspiration

Canadian $enators

Obscene ! 
Canadian Senate, do not need these overpriced political votes ! .. Only a few with low to $$0.00 for travel or expenses, the only few to perhaps call, Honorable !

see the link for way too much info and way too much $$$$
I know bad grammar, but golly jhesh Batman, this is so far over the top it is in the realm of the un-real





Base Salary of Canadian Senators

All Canadian Senators make a basic salary of $135,200.

Extra Compensation for Additional Responsibilities

Senators who have extra responsibilities, such as the Speaker of the Senate, the Leader of the Government and the Leader of the Opposition in the Senate, government and opposition whips, and chairs of Senate committees, receive additional compensation. (See chart below.)

Title Additional Salary Total Salary
Senator $135,200
Speaker of the Senate* $ 56,000 $191,200
Leader of the Government in the Senate* $ 76,700 $211,900
Leader of the Opposition in the Senate $ 36,500 $171,700
Government Whip $ 11,200 $146,400
Opposition Whip $  6,600 $141,800
Government Caucus Chair $  6,600 $141,800
Opposition Caucus Chair $  5,600 $140,800
Senate Committee Chair $ 11,200 $146,400
Senate Committee vice-Chair $  5,600 $140,800
*The Speaker of the Senate and the Leader of the Government in the Senate also get a car allowance.


they also get Living and Travel expenses! see the first link
Some have claimed as much as $250 k .. yes 250 thousand dollars for travel alone, with an additional $30K for living expenses, bringing some of their income to about $300+ k per year, plus,,, plus… plus…

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Thundering Silence

What is more profound or Surreal than the Thundering Sound of Silence?

The Thundering Sound of Silence;
… after a Lightening Bolt sizzles in the air around you..

The Thundering Sound of Silence;
… after the Thunder fades to an echo in the distance

The Thundering Sound of Silence;
… after Howling at the Moon

The Thundering Sound of Silence;
… after the last fireworks in the distance has exploded

The Thundering Sound of Silence;
… of silence between each heartbeat

The Thundering Sound of Silence;
… after writing a piece and posting online till the first :Like: or :Comment:

The Thundering Sound of Silence;
… after the guns, firearms, pyrotechnics, tracers, bullets, Artillery simulators, have ceased due to the Command, ” Cease Fire ” during a Live Fire or Firefight

The Thundering Sound of Silence;
… of a first time Comedian at an Open Mike

The Thundering Sound of Silence;
… after the Jake Brake on a large Diesel engine disengages at the bottom of a hill

The Thundering Sound of Silence;
… of your Heartbeat after your first kiss

The Thundering Sound of Silence;
… of your Heartbeat after you make love with someone for the first time

The Thundering Sound of Silence;
… after you leave voicemails and emails to someone you care for, who does not feel the same and does not return emails or voicemails

The Thundering Sound of Silence;
… after you say ” I Love You ” to Someone for the first time

The Thundering Sound of Silence;
… Sitting in a room by yourself

The Thundering Sound of Silence;
… Standing in an Elevator with a group of Strangers

The Thundering Sound of Silence;
… sitting in a food court at a table by yourself, while all the other tables are occupied by people chatting, laughing and carrying on

The Thundering Sound of Silence;
… after the rain stops hitting the Tin Roof or Fiberglass roof of you Camper or small building

The Thundering Sound of Silence;
… after you turn off your Device and it powers down

The Thundering Sound of Silence;
… after you notice your speaking out loud when Nobody is around

The Thundering Sound of Silence;
… after the click of a lock in a shut door in a darkened room

The Thundering Sound of Silence;
… after the last steps have been reached at the top of the stairs,  in an old abandoned farmhouse in the middle of the pasture

The Thundering Sound of Silence;
… after the flashlight goes out during a blackout or power loss as your down in the basement, searching for the Fuse Panel

The Thundering Sound of Silence;
… after your last breath of air to the next gasping breath of air as your Asthma Afflicted Lungs desperately try to draw more air in during an Attack.

The Thundering Sound of Silence;
…  as you fingers stop moving over the keyboard while your brain tries desperately to come up with other Words to describe, feelings, emotions, thoughts, perspectives or anything at all really as you sit staring at the blank or semi blank computer screen or piece of paper,

The Thundering Sound of Silence may be; scary, intense, loud, quiet, painful, joyful, sad, bitter, introspective, thoughtful, lonely, satisfying, or anything else you can think of, for Silence is not as Silent as people think of it.


Filed under Writing, Writing Free Form


For now is the Hour of  My Discontent !

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Filed under Blog post, Writing, Writing Free Form

Inspirational Documentary

I just watched a truly inspirational documentary entitled;
Fat Sick and Nearly Dead, found ithttp://www.filmsforaction.org/watch/fat_sick_and_nearly_dead_2010/

inspirational documentary

Juice machine and travel around helping people, then he met another with the same condition, that fellow learned and did the same diet reboot. Second fellow lost 200+ pounds by juicing and exercise, watch the transformation and inspirational documentary. It is not cheezy or in your face, laid back documentation of their journeys and the people they help along the way.
My great big smile for the day!

Here are the links to the websites;


An Australian fellow who was overweight and had a weird and rare condition thought long and hard about his life and health, the Documentary is his journey. This documentary takes place in Australia and the United States where he travels around chatting with people and trying to help them in their food addictions. Now this sounds in your face but this fellow is easy to like and easy to chat with as well as his genuine sincerity to help others. Half way through his journey across the U.S. he meets another fellow like he used to be, overweight and with the same rare illness.

Your going to smile, you’re going to be sad, you’re going to laugh as well as shed a tear or two, or your just not human at all. This documentary about this part of his life draws you in and you think your there with him it is very intimate and soulful.

Joe the originator of the film is inspirational and Phil the ex-truck driver is amazingly inspirational, your heart melts with his weight loss journey. Watch this little hour-long film and dare to change your life!

Since I have decided to become mostly Vegetarian  this was very opportune for my knowledge base of veggie foods. Now since I have been off sick for the last 4 months with this weird Lung Infection, I need to lose even more weight, I was doing great up to D-day sickness time. The film just makes sense  so much sense that I will be starting this diet as well, they call it a ReBoot. Well reboot me baby here I come. North American Doctors can not find out what is wrong with me, they can not fix me and they can not even help very much, so I am helping MYSELF!

More to follow on my Journey and I believe that updating my blog with my journey will help me more than it help anyone who reads it, but just maybe, someone else out there will find the info useful and the Documentary will change their life!


I dedicate this post to the Documentary and helping one person change their life, mine. Everyone else and everything else is a bonus and good luck on your journey as well!

My belief before was that Permaculture and Aquaculture could change the course of the world for the better, this documentary only re-enforces my thoughts and beliefs.

Cheers for now



Filed under Blog post, Food, Health, Permaculture, Recipe

Doomsday Veggie Lamps

Doomsday Veggie Lamps for when the lights go out!

Ok, this is not the end of the world tonight, though I did think the title fitting, nes pas? So this will be the start of a series of primers on some Veggie Oil Lamps and Heaters. The heaters will be just how to go about doing it, not the full on create a heater, though that might change in a few days as well.

A quick how to primer on making and using assorted Veggie Oil Lamps & 2 Heaters

3 different types of veggie oil lamps

veggie oil lamps

pic of my Mason Jar lamp which I have been using now for over 2 yrs.
Use of Veggie Oil is safe, convenient as well as much cheaper than regular candles or making the candles from scratch. The price of wax has gone up and up, the price of Veggie Oil is yes going up though much slower. I also keep and eye out for deals on Veggie Oil, some are also the 2 gallon tins, which I just missed the sale two weeks ago at No Frills (President’s Choice subsidiary)
Another advantage of using the veggie oil is safety, when and if it tips over the flame is extinguished by itself. This is in sharp contrast to using Lamp Oil or Kerosene Lamp oils (there are some varieties here, all very flammable.)  You can get right creative with this, put string around the tops of the threads, and make Redneck chandelier or mount in wall scones, put inside brown paper bags, sky is the limit and so is your creative juices. I can see you thinking now, hmm let’s get started, shall we.
* pliers
* big nail or screwdriver
* mechanics wire or coat hanger, metal
* can opener
* natural fibre string, or, wicks, or, natural plant fibres, or dense paper towels, or, cotton stocks cut up into strips.. or… you’re imagination!
For the lamp bases;
* herring tin
* mason jar
* canned turkey flakes
* an oyster shell
* small cupcake shell – anything really
* big rock with a hollow!
(purchase them, eat them, clean them, use them)
Lard Lamps:
* get lard in a tub
* stick wicks in it, poke them down into it
* light them up use them!
1st. Mason Jar, been using this one for over 2 years now and it just keeps working away. Filling to the line I have now, will work without filling from 4-5 days using for 3-4 hrs per evening, or 1 overnighter, topping up the oil. My oil of preference is Extra Virgin Olive Oil or any oil really. The Extra Virgin Olive oil is the one that smokes the least and has the least odour as well. Any and all will work, even mixing them together will work quite nicely. Need to see if I can get some of the old grease from a Restaurant to see how that burns, though it will make you hungry when the oil is burning, same as veggie fuel in vehicles. Smells like french fries in the background, yummy but makes you hungry!
 veggie with tail
a, using the metal hangers or mechanics wire
* use your pliers to hold the end, wrap around the screw driver or big nail first
* once you have a few spirals
* make the bending shape to go down
* make a loop for it to sit on, in the bottom of the jar
* now, keep going and make a nice tail to raise out of the oil
* make sure your tail is below the opening of the jar, so you can put the lid back on when not in use
The tail is for lifting it out of the oil to add in another wick material (see list above) as well as to trim the wick if needed
(these pics did not turn out, so will be adding in some in the next instalment and adding them into this place-holder, sorry)
Filling options
you can put some decorative stones or marbles in the bottom of the mason jar, then fill up the jar with oil, or just fill with oil. The advantage is a little bit of looks and less oil. Disadvantages are setting the stand back in with ought some work to do so
Soak the wick for at least 10 mins or so, until saturated, this is very important as you will be impatient now to see how it will work! I suggest the first time, to get the wick soaking in oil perhaps in a small tuna can or in the mason jar while you make the wick stand.
from start to finish, O about 4 mins, that’s it!
Now I added some tin foil shiny side in to mine, you might want to make up a stand using pie plates, shiny metal bowels behind them mounted on the wall as scones, whatever works for you!
If the oil gets frozen, it does not matter, it will take a bit longer to get it going but otherwise it will burn just fine with the oil frozen, or if it has been frozen, so no issues there.

Herring Fish Tin

Buy the fish tin, eat the fish, clean out the tin!
 veglamps 099b
Now while you are opening the tin, make sure you leave the one side attaches about 2-3 cm, this will assist you in making a wee ramp for the wicks.
* use your pliers (tin is sharp) bend the ramp into position on the side where the handle is. I just leave the pull tab on for now, and use it to help keep the ramp in the can
Ok, your done the build!
natural fibre cord
plant material
paper towel
string, anything at all really that is a natural fibre and will burn
see next images
Sting 2 methods:
a. first is the simplest, measure the string to make sure it will go side to side, cut it so it raises just above the edge of the can
you can now use 2 or 4 ends to get more light
Note: you will burn more oil as you light more ends, this oil will last about 3-4 hrs., if you light all 4 ends. This is done for more light!
 veglamps 116b
b. take a small length of string, wrap around your finger, pull the end up into the middle and extend beyond the clump
put into the middle of the ramp
when it is saturated, light the end which will burn all night! Yuppers, this will burn all night unattended and safely. When it is damp and not so cold, I do this as it will provide a small measure of warmth to the air and helps to burn off some of the dampness, making it more comfortable.
wrapped natural fibre jute string to make a wick

wrapped natural fibre jute string to make a wick

AB. do the above operation with any shallow holder such as an oyster shell or metal cup cake shell, put in the same style wicks, light and enjoy!
see pics below
Option; heat option
put a tin can overtop of the flame, make sure you have vent holes along the side of the can top and bottom
this will heat up, take the dampness out of the air and provide some added warmth as well
Herring Can Heater
* do the same as above
* now use 4 string ends, or a wad of dense paper towel or a wad of plant material in the middle
* fill with veggie oil
* * * light it up, when it is going good, put the tin can with the holes over the top
veglamps 132b
This is just an expedient lamp/heater to show you the basics. This should only be used like I do on my fireproof stone pad on a solid surface beside my stove! This would be too dangerous in a tent or anywhere else like this, so this is just to show you, it is not hard. A full on heater would need to be made and I might make one soon that is much safer to use in a tent or anywhere else but a table top with a fireproof base!
+ + Legal warning, do not do this, consult a specialist, not responsible this is what I did, if you burn down or die, not my problems!
use leather gloves or hotdog tongs to remove the can from the top
Note: this should be vented outside as it creates more smoky residue in the air as well as you should have a supply of fresh air for it as well, or you might not wake up!
Oxygen Thief – carbon monoxide warning – use a detector – fresh air – venting system as well
your warned, use at your own risk!! yadda yadda yadda legal speak, use your common sense  be safe


Filed under Blog post, Improvised Stoves Heaters, Survival Prepping